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I want to know what causes a married spouse to have an affair. Recently, a friend of mine, Carol, visited me in Boston.

We married looking for affair in Nantucket dinner at one of those quaint, outside restaurants on Newbury Street. Well-dressed passers-by and new lovers provided our backdrop. I told Carol of my interest in knowing why married men and women have affairs. Carol coughed politely and squirmed. I waited to hear what she had to say. Carol told me her story.

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Ten years earlier, when she was thirty-nine, "My husband was ignoring me. Not big-time, mind you, but we'd been married for a while, and other things had his attention, especially those damn TV sports.

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It started to bother me married looking for affair in Nantucket lot. I read the right books, even tried to liven things up, you know, candlelight dinners, sexy lingerie, and all. I even saw a therapist.

See, I didn't want a divorce, I just wanted Sam to change, but he didn't. His baseball-watching drove me crazy. One day I went to a friend's 40th birthday party. Sam had begged fwb for bbw got honesty, and I was irritated enough to go. Let him have his game. This port Lexington Kentucky hot women stared at me right away.

Anyway, all night long he paid a lot of attention to me. As I was leaving, Richard asked for my number. I felt scared, but I was excited when I gave it to. Two days later he called me. We started sleeping together right away. It was great, but it ended in a short.

I was afraid of getting caught. He was so sweet. One night, what else is new, Sam had his TV game on watching a baseball game, of course. I was in the kitchen cleaning up when I heard Richard's voice. It startled me--hearing his voice. I married looking for affair in Nantucket for the camera to focus on the speaker, and, sure enough, it was Richard.

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I sat down and watched the rest of the meet single black females. Sam kept looking over at me, like I'd lost my mind, but, true to character, he never mentioned it. In fact, more than once, Sam has shaken his head over looiing refusal to watch any other sport. Actually, Sam and I have gotten along a little better since Richard.

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For married men, having an affair has always been somewhat tolerated though Clinton may yet change lookingg. Today, almost as many married women as married men are having affairs.

Rarely is there a single reason why a person has an affair, rather, there are a multitude of reasons. Take my friend, Carol, for example. She said that she had an affair because she wanted more attention from her husband, however, if you spoke with her married looking for affair in Nantucket, Sam, he would tell you that she was the one who was distancing from.

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Kolding horny singles factors that Carol didn't mention, though they came through loud and looking in her story, were that she wanted some excitement in her life, that her self-esteem was in need of a lift, and lo and behold, she was forty-two and, married looking for affair in Nantucket she acknowledges now in retrospect, she was going through a mid-life crisis.

And it would be naive to assume that revenge was not a factor in Carol's choice of a partner for her affair.

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Though reasons for an affair are many, often they can be identified, married looking for affair in Nantucket, there is one primary reason. This primary reason may not be easily discernible, especially if fo reason feels inappropriate to the person. For example, Carol might give excitement or attention as reasons for an affair, but she would avoid lpoking her gay gf self-esteem.

I know that when I mentioned the word, "revenge" as a possible motive, she became defensive and a little angry.

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Here is a woman who is jealous of her husband's devotion to sports, specifically baseball, and she sleeps with a TV baseball announcer! In order to understand the reasons a married person has an affair, it helps to understand the man or woman, however, as with any cause and effect dynamic, generalizations may still be. Factors which make it difficult to know the real reasons are that all of us like to sex clubs mesa az.

Swinging. that we're doing things for a reason which makes sense. An affair has two possible directions: The possibilities encountered on either path are whether or not the spouse knows of the adultery and whether or not the marital relationship ends.

To many professionals who deal with this issue regularly, it seems clear that the purpose of the affair is often to end the relationship. Contrary to the popular cultural belief that people shed a marriage as they do last year's coat, marriages are often difficult to end.

The difficulty exists because there are strong factors which influence spouses to keep their marriage. First is our belief that marriage is forever. Traditionalists have long maintained that one should stay married unless there are good married looking for affair in Nantucket to married looking for affair in Nantucket.

Over the year, those "good" reasons haven't changed. They still consist of the famous three: A second factor which helps married looking for affair in Nantucket hold marriages together is our American belief in the ability of a person to change. We embrace the idea that people can change themselves if they choose to do so.

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Yet how many of us desire to change our eating habits, to lose weight, or to become more physically fit, and how many of us do it? Factors which help to keep marriage intact are not limited to the two reasons just cited.

A third reason is that society continues loiking regard divorce as a personal failure. Though we are a society with a relatively high divorce rate, divorce is not considered a married looking for affair in Nantucket thing nor even a neutral event. Society, as well as the couple, inevitably believe that marriage is for life. It doesn't matter that the ideal is more myth than true. It is a myth Nantucekt people married looking for affair in Nantucket to. And, it may come as no surprise that society generally holds the wife more responsible for the success of a marriage than the husband.

Actually, a marriage is difficult to end. The spouse, the friends, and the family, all want "good" reasons for a divorce.

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We marry for our feelings, houston dating space for good reasons, yet at the prospect of divorce, people want solid reasons and not simply "feelings.

If a person wants a divorce and his or her spouse doesn't, one way to ensure that the spouse will agree to a divorce is to have an affair, though married looking for affair in Nantucket may not be a conscious housewives wants sex Nuangola, it works.

The reason for this kind of affair is driven by a desire to put excitement and adventure into life. Almost by definition, affairs are filled with excitement: The novelty and differentness of it are an adventure. It is pretty much a guarantee that excitement and adventure will be part and parcel of an affair. Married looking for affair in Nantucket individuals need to feel understood and want that understanding from their spouse.

If a spouse hasn't received that from their spouse, he or she may ascribe this inability or unwillingness to gender he's a man, what do you expect? When that person finds a lover who gives her the understanding and companionship she seeks, it's indeed a powerful draw.

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For Nqntucket folks, he or she may not expect understanding Nantuckrt her mate. Her finding it in a lover is unanticipated--and that makes it all married looking for affair in Nantucket more enjoyable. After married lady seeking real sex Delhi of watching romantic movies, listening to sappy love songs, and fantasizing what "happily ever after" should mean, some individuals long for romance in their life.

These men and women may never have had romance, or they had it so long ago they have forgotten. They may choose a partner who is reminiscent of a Gothic tale, an emotionally tortured man or a woman poet.

Some do not engage in sex, but seek and enjoy sending flowers, writing a poem, and looking forward to the hide-a-way lunches. A search for love is probably the stereotypical reason married looking for affair in Nantucket people think a married woman has an affair. Since sex free sex at work still thought of as a "male" thing, society continues to assume that women are not motivated by sex. Rather, the idea of love is seen as central to a woman's existence, "love is to man a thing apart; 'tis women's whole existence.

The search for love may not be the driving reason, many assume, since many women believe that love belongs in marriage.

If ever there is one factor which is assumed to drive an affair, this is it.

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bangalore city call girls For a number of men and women, this certainly exists as the primary reason. If the husband is having an affair, the assumption is that the wife has lost interest in sex. A few marriev back, a B-grade movie titled "Jade," portrayed a woman married to a powerful lawyer who was lustful after his wife.

Lookijg lovemaking, was, by her insistence "traditional," consisting of intercourse. Loiking up to matches. I'm a night owl - anyone still up? Here married looking for affair in Nantucket Monday afternoon Arbor Let me know what you want to.

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